INTERROGATE YOUR STARTUP.
Before the investors do. Before the crash. Before the lawsuit.
Most tech stacks are hiding crimes—technical debt, security holes, and cloud waste. Michael (our AI Bad Cop) is here to beat the truth out of your architecture.
THE CHARGES
What tech crimes is your startup committing? Michael will find out.
Criminal Negligence (Ops)
"You're running Kubernetes with no users? That's reckless spending. We'll charge you with 'Premature Optimization'."
Conspiracy To Fail (Team)
"Who holds the keys? If your Lead Dev walks, does the company freeze? We identify the accomplices."
False Advertising (AI)
"Calling an OpenAI wrapper 'Proprietary Tech'? We'll find out if you actually have a moat or just a prompt."
Security Violations
"API keys in GitHub? Unpatched dependencies? That's not tech debt, that's an invitation to hackers."
Architectural Fraud
"Your 'microservices' is just a monolith with extra steps. Let's talk about what you really built."
Scale Delusion
"Planning for 10 million users when you have 10? We'll show you what you actually need."
THE BOOKING PROCESS
From interrogation to verdict in three steps
The Questioning
You talk. Michael listens. 20 minutes to find the holes in your story.
The Case File
We compile the evidence. A 10-page dossier on your risks and crimes.
The Verdict
Guilty or Innocent? We give you the plea deal—the fix, the roadmap, the way out.
PRIOR CONVICTIONS
Startups that confessed and lived to tell
"Michael found our quotation bottleneck in 20 minutes. 5% revenue boost in months!"
Ananias A.
CEO, Pressious Arvanitidis
"Our tech stack was a crime scene. Michael mapped the mess and showed us the escape route."
Dimitris K.
CEO, Canco Logistics
"Board-ready in a week. $500K in savings identified. The investors never knew what we were hiding."
Board Member
Mid-Sized Tech Firm
READY TO CONFESS?
Your tech stack is hiding something. Michael will find it. The question is: will you find it first?